Time for a positive change

Something occurred to me this week after I’d read some lovely emails from readers of Social Butterflies, there is a never-ending discussion online (and offline) about ‘honest parenting’, we can’t get enough of books like Hurrah For Gin and The Unmumsy Mum. But how about some ‘honest career chat’? I’m not talking about flexible working – there are huge strides being made in that area, thanks to amazing ambassadors like Mother Pukka and Digital Mums. I’m talking about the identity crisis so many women feel when they put their careers on hold to have a family. So why does this issue still feel like a taboo subject?

For many women of my generation (born in the 70s/80s) we had established professional identities long before children came along (not forgetting spontaneous mini-breaks, oh how I miss you mini-breaks). But no-one, it seems, feels comfortable talking about the lows of career compromise in motherhood. The most obvious reason is because people don’t want to prejudice future job opportunities or damage their image. But I’m not talking about committing an act of career self-harm. It’s just about acknowledging those lows so you can refocus that energy on creating new highs. If you’ve taken time out, or your foot off the career accelerator, then your confidence needs building up. You’re not going to get that by feeling unable to talk about it. Knowing others feel the same way is both reassuring and empowering. When you feel part of a movement don’t you feel more energised to make a change?

So I would like to open up the conversation. But this isn’t a drowning your sorrows exercise. This is very much about focusing on the positives. It’s about recognising your worth, valuing your experience, honing your skills, retraining in some cases, pursuing a passion and giving each other a leg-up! (I’ve been there, so I should know). I took a three-year career break a few years ago (but I did have two children) so I never feel awkward about explaining that time off to prospective employers. Maybe if I hadn’t done that I might be earning more money, or have a more impressive job, but I don’t like to look back. I am where I am because of the choices I made – no regrets. I think one of the best things you can do if you are on a career plateau is to skill yourself up. Even now, with over 16 years’ experience behind me I still think it’s important to attend courses, workshops and industry events. You should never be complacent about your knowledge in the workplace. I work in digital marketing where innovations and trends move so fast I have to keep pace.

If you’re feeling out of touch with your career identity and looking to try something new, or maybe just want to enhance your existing skills, then take heart from all the amazing women we feature on Social Butterflies. So many of them have taken career breaks, or left behind stellar jobs to try something new that suits family life. You can achieve that too – all it requires is a positive attitude, determination, a healthy dose of confidence and a good support network. You too could feel like the lady in the photo (looks like a Bodyform advert, I know).

TOP TIPS

KEEP ON LEARNING
The best advice I can give anyone who is feeling out of touch with the work place is to continuing learning: take a course, attend a workshop, go to a talk. Find something that interests you and meet like-minded people. Taking courses purely for professional reasons is great too (I’m currently learning all about analytics…) but be clear about what you want to get out of it, particularly if you’re paying a lot of money for something.

RETHINK YOUR STORY
Even if you’re not currently looking for work, try writing your CV out as you would a diary-style story. It’s a great exercise to help order your career thoughts and reexamine what you have to offer in an informal way. Once you’ve got a clearer sense of what that story is, you can translate into a CV format (have a look at Pinterest for CV style inspiration). Set yourself up with a LinkedIn profile and connect with old colleagues – you never know where Barry from accounts is now working and how he could help (by the way, Barry is a fictional character, purely for illustrative purposes).

EXPERIENCE NOT AGE
With age comes wisdom. We should be proud of the experience we have gained, and not compare ourselves to twenty-somethings. Each generation has their own unique skill set  – ours is multitasking experience (in bucket loads!). Taking time out of work has reinvigorated your desire to work, not diminished it. I’m in my late-thirties and we’re not having any more children, so I represent a whole load of women who are not going to go on maternity leave and we’re less likely to flit from job to job. This is an advantage for a future employer. It’s all about changing negative perceptions and seeing the positives.

POSITIVITY PEOPLE
It’s therefore crucial to surround yourself with positive people. There’s nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but the doomsayers can quite frankly f**ck off! If you’re trying to lift yourself up you need people with a glass half full attitude. I always think if you project positivity you will attract it (you can have that as a motivational fridge magnet, you’re welcome).

I’m really hoping by getting this topic out in the open it will help other women out there, who felt like I once did. I’d love to hear from anyone who has felt like this and has made positive changes in their career. Please email hellosocialbutterflies@gmail.com. I’d love to feature your story and inspire other women to do the same.

Bring colour into your home

Vickie Nickolls is an interior decorator from Buckinghamshire who is embracing social media to grow her business online. A career change after the birth of her daughter (due to lack of flexible working provision) led to the launch of her business Interior Therapy. Taking the plunge and following her passion for design, interiors and colour has proven to be the right decision.

Vickie shares her career story and interiors tips. Read on to discover simple and effective ways you can add personality to your home.

Vickie Nickolls owner of Interior Therapy

Tell us about yourself

I live in Buckinghamshire with my husband, daughter Grace and dog Geoffrey. I have always had a really passion for interiors, fashion and all things design related. With a background in fashion retail, I have been a buyer and also a wholesale agent, which lead me into a job as Trend Researcher for an international footwear brand. I was lucky enough to travel the world focusing on new trends in footwear, material and colour – working alongside a large design team.

Unfortunately, after having my daughter the company were unable to accommodate a part-time position – therefore forcing the hard decision to leave.

I had always been told I had an eye for interior design, so I decided to build up my portfolio and take the leap by starting Interior Therapy. I wanted to make the most of people’s homes and make them personal to them and a space that they loved living in. This doesn’t have to be huge changes – but even the smallest item such as a rug, new cushions and some artwork can totally transform a room.

Interior Therapy by Vickie Nickolls
Adding pops of colour into a neutral scheme lifts the look

I have never looked back, I work around my daughter being at nursery three times a week (so I get a nice mix) although now that the company has grown I am finding it hard to get a balance between family and work life which is frustrating. My daughter will start school in September, so I am hoping to be able to increase the business.

I help clients save time searching for items (a lot of my clients are mums and just simply don’t have the time). I take the stress away by giving them multiple choices for each item.

How has digital technology and social media has changed the way you work?

Social media has played a huge part in building my new business. Not only as a huge source of inspiration, including sites such as Pinterest and Houzz, but also being able to network with others who share the same passion.

Houzz has been by far the best social media platform for me with one of my images being saved over 220k times, which has led to press such as the Mail Online. I’m also being featured in a book which comes out in April, this has helped raise my profile and I have received lots of work via the site.

Instagram has been an important factor (I’m building a following slowly!), mainly for inspiration and also for finding new products, especially for independent brands. I really like to support the independents and often find great pieces via Instagram to use in my clients’ homes. It’s also a great way to showcase my style and current projects.

VICKIE SHARES HER INTERIORS TIPS…

Interior Therapy by Vickie Nickolls

Create a feature wall of prints

Interior Therapy by Vickie Nickolls

Be creative, you don’t have to spend a lot of money on expensive artwork to give your living room a boost. Simply display an eclectic mix of framed photographs, quotes and prints or anything that is important to you to create a wow factor feature wall.  Behind a sofa always works well and frames the area, and also you are not directly looking at it whilst relaxing! Mix up the frames, or even co-ordinate your sofa and cushions for a dramatic look!

Interior Therapy by Vickie Nickolls

Add character to your bathroom

Adding a personal touch, a private ensuite bathroom warrants the use of more personal decor. Have something framed that is personal to you, whether that would be a wedding invite, favourite place to visit, picture? Hanging this up will add instant character that is special to you and only you will see it!

Interior Therapy by Vickie Nickolls

Be bold: mix and match

Don’t be afraid to mix and match prints and patterns. You can use a variety of scales large and small when doing this just ensure that you stick with the same colour palette. Or choose a dominate print from either artwork or wallpaper then select a smaller scale print for something such as a cushion or rug.

Here I have used a contrasting print on the cushions and pillows to add interest, but have kept to the same colour palate and also introduced plain bold colour pops.


Vickie is following… 

Sarah Akwisombe

Sarah Akwiscombe: I love her honesty, style and straight forward talking. Her blog has totally inspired me and helped me along the way in improving my business.

The Unmumsy Mum

The Unmumsy Mum: I literally love her, every post makes me laugh out loud, its nice to know your not alone as a mum and her honesty is refreshing!

Kitty McCall

Kitty McCallI love her style and use of colour, prints are to die for and also so are the cushions!

Vickie’s work…

Interior therapy logo

interior therapy.co.uk
instagram.com/interior.therapy
pinterest.com/vickienickolls
houzz.co.uk/pro/vickienickolls/interior-therapy
facebook.com/interiortherapyuk
vickie@interiortherapy.co.uk

Mother Pukka talks flex

There’s been plenty of chat and a fair bit of flash dancing action. (See our Lycra-swathed Flex Appeal flash mob in Trafalgar Square for more of that.)

But in the push/shove for flexible working, how can you get stuck in?

We need you

If you don’t read any further than this please ask your/ your husband’s/ your best mate’s/ aunties HR departments to sign up to the government’s Working Forward pledge. The whole drive is based on this one stat: 86% of companies believe they offer flexible working, while 77% of women in the workforce have faced discrimination or lost their job on maternity leave. A bit of light maths and you can work out there’s summat up there, sparky. This is the core focus of our Flex Appeal – to get companies to sign up. We’ve already seen John Lewis, BT, BP, Virgin Money signed up (plus 70 more since launching this appeal), so who’s next?

Fight for your right

Previously I’ve written about hard, cold cash and the hair loss associated with going it alone, but it was not meant to scare off budding entrepreneurs. It was more to stress that having sat on both sides of the fence, there’s no easy way out. If you like (love is a strong word) your job then fight for it – show ‘em what you’ve got and pave the way for others below you to work flexibly. How to do this? Talk numbers and offer solutions: see ‘The business case for flexible working’, below, for the former and the latter is up to you. ‘I’d like flexible working and this is how it can happen’ is much stronger than, ‘can I have some flexible working please?’. For more on your rights, head here.

mother pukka flexible working flash mob manchester
Flex Appeal flash mob in Manchester

This isn’t a revolution, it’s about evolution.

Working life has pulled a massive U-turn with The Internet and other pixelated goods that mean we can sit in the tinned goods aisle of Tesco if we choose and still make shit happen.

We’re pushing for someone being judged on their ability to produce good work not sit on a chair past 6pm. That’s a win-win for employee and employer: in most cases, flexible working means happier staff, lower costs and greater productivity.

Suggest a trial period of flexible working and measure the results. Hard facts can’t be argued with. If you’re delivering the same, or more, then it’s working. If it doesn’t work out and you can’t hack it any longer, take a look at flexible and part-time jobsite Timewise or the flexible courses offered by Digital Mums.

It’s a people issue, not a ‘mummy wanting to see more of her little one’ sitch

The words ‘flexible working’ have been tacked to parents. Life is messy and whether you’re a (single) mum, dad, carer or someone who just needs Friday mornings off to slap some paint on a canvas, flexible working is about getting the best from each individual – ‘individual’ here is key. The one rule for everyone has to go – salaries and skills aren’t the same across the board, and how you work shouldn’t be either.

The business case for flexible working

Save rent
For most businesses, the two main costs are people and property. Flexible working lets employers lower the latter. Lambeth Council claims it will save £4.5 million per year in property running costs by making sure that no more than 60% of its staff are in at one time.

Attract talent
Some 30% of the UK’s working population (8.7 million people) wants flexible working but doesn’t have it, yet only 6% of advertised jobs with a salary above £20,000 actually offer it.

Retain talent
It costs more than £5,000 to hire a new employee in the UK. When you add costs associated with getting the newbie up to speed that cost exceeds£30,000, arbitration service Acas recently reported, and more than £35,000, according to analysts CEBR. In it’s 2012 study, HR institute the CIPD found that 76% of employers saw staff retention improve when they offered flexible working.

Improve productivity
This argument has become as undeniable as the case for climate change: 81% of senior managers believe flexible working improves productivity. Three in five people who work flexibly put in more hours as a result of being allowed to do so. Another report found that 72% of businesses reported increased productivity as a direct result of flexible working.

This is not a movement, we’re simply about moving. It’s about keeping the conversation going. If you have experience in HR you could bring to the table or are a business struggling to make flexible working actually work, then please get in touch. We want to hear from both sides of the PAYE coin.

Let’s talk about flex, baby.

Written by: 

Anna Whitehouse Mother Pukka

motherpukka.com
instagram.com/mother_pukka
twitter.com/mother_pukka
facebook.com/motherpukka

 

 


 Originally published on 01.12.16